One Line Groaners Hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now. How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb? She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment." What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Dam". What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick. The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef. Where do you find a no legged dog? Right where you left him. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent. On the other hand, you have different fingers. Married people don't live longer than single people. It just seems longer. Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.