An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, What's your problem, Soldier? Chronic syphilis, Sir. What treatment are you getting? Five minutes with the wire brush each day. What's your ambition? To get back to the front, Sir. Good man," said the Major. He went to the next bed, What's your problem, Soldier? Chronic piles, Sir. What treatment are you getting? Five minutes with the wire brush each day. What's your ambition? To get back to the front, Sir. Good man," barked the Major. He moved to the next bed, What's your problem, Soldier? Chronic gum disease, Sir What treatment are you getting? Five minutes with the wire brush each day. What's your ambition? To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir!